Fly Pupa Fly
by HomestuckAddict88
Summary: All you wanted was to not be crippled and have friends...Is that so much to ask for? SADSTUCK,AU I DON'T OWN HOMESTUCK! Picture not mine either!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys I'm just popping out stories here so haha! 0-0 If you would also check out my other stories and review on them that would be great! 0u0 Anyway this one is for my dear Tavros okay? 0u0 I haven't made one just about the trolls so…here it is I guess? **

How you can fantasize that you could fly and soar across the sky not having to worry about anything and just living your life carefree! Have some friends by your side talking and chattering away all the fears you've ever had! Being able to laugh a true laugh, being able to smile a true smile, being able to just be _**happy**_…

But it's just imagination.

It's not real.

Oh when was it ever real?

_Never_ is the answer.

Your name is Tavros Nitram and you wish you weren't crippled. You wish you didn't have to see other people just walking on their feet that actually _work._ It makes you hate yourself much more than you already do. Ha when didn't you hate yourself?

You pretty much hated yourself since you were a just grub. A tiny, innocent looking grub without a care in the world! So they think…even as a grub you hated everything about yourself. Your eye color, your blood color, your horns, just everything!

Why wasn't anything good enough for you?

For _anyone?_

You also don't have friends. The other trolls just make fun of you for your disability, especially Vriska. How she just wishes to pretty much rip out your throat and feed it to her lusus. How she wants to make you just go and die in a corner. She wants you gone.

_She wants you dead._

She turned everyone against you.

Even your only friend was turned against you.

Gamzee Makara was his name he doesn't talk to you anymore. You guys used to form the worst raps in history, talk about anything, slam a faygo, ride on your wheel chair, he'd even carry you! You guys had been so close like a knot that can't be untied, but soon enough someone found a way to loosen it and just like that you were alone again.

No one ever talked to you.

Who would want to talk to a loser like you anyway?

You're not worth anything it seems.

Your happiness doesn't matter.

Not even Kanaya or Karkat help or talk to you. Every few times they do they don't even know what's happening inside. You plaster a fake smile one that you had worked on for as long as you can remember. They fall for it just like that.

_The fake laughs._

_The fake happiness_

_Everything you do around people is just __**FAKE.**_

Only the _**REAL**_ you show's around yourself.

Your always make sure your lusus was away or asleep when you show yourself. Who would want to see what a mess you are? The humans ignore you as well but when did you ever even get close to them? You're just in the way like always.

No one will ever like you.

Everyone is like a hunter, and you happen to be the prey. You release a shaky sigh disappointed in yourself but when were you not? You tried to make a change in your life. Yet someone always brings you down. They will never just leave you alone until the day you die.

Why is the world so damn cruel to you?

You look outside your hive's window to find Gamzee, Vriska, and Eridan all talking to each other walking, running, playing. Just being happy that there together and aren't alone like you. You wish you were someone else, you always wish that. You had made an imaginary person you call Rufio he represented you're self esteem, He made you feel confident!

Yet it was short-lived.

Vriska happened to ruin it for you.

When does she not?

Oh yeah when she's to fed up with you and makes someone else do the job of putting you down yeah just fucking great.

You once told Gamzee when he was your friend about your problems. He thought you were lying. HE THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING LYING. He called you an attention seeking whore. Soon enough just about everyone else did. Oh man you can already feel new tears forming in your eyes.

Who knew you were so bad that you had to be put down every day of your life, who knew you were an attention seeking whore, who knew you were just a big baby as Vriska calls you, JUST WHO FUCKING _**KNEW.**_

By this time you're sobbing and you can't seem to stop. It's getting to the point where you're just about ready to end your life right here and right now. Yet you don't. You want to think that maybe someday everything will get better and you'll be happy.

_**Happy.**_

All you want is to not be crippled and have friends….

Is that so much to ask for?

**Wow I've never been so depressed in my life. I don't exactly like writing SADSTUCK but you know I just had such a big fucking urge and here I am review and favorite please? 0u0 Thank you and I'm out got to go cry in a pillow.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah so I'm already back! I really liked how the first chapter came out so I just had to already start the next chapter! Please enjoy it and tell me you're FEELS! I hate writing SADSTUCK once again but I just don't want to stop writing right now! WOHO MOTIVATION! 0u0**

_Ugh you're still alive._

You are still Tavros Nitram and you have just woken up from crying yourself to sleep. You notice you are still in your wheel chair and roll it over to the window. It so happens it's midnight and you always tend to wake up at midnight unable to go back to sleep.

Most of the time when this happened you'd talk to Gamzee and pass the time, but now you're alone with only your depressing thoughts around to keep you company. Now that you think about it you hadn't had company for as long as you can remember!

Just shows how much they want to stay away from you.

You quickly try to remove these thoughts from your head but the more you try the more depressing the thoughts get, Oh look your crying again no wonder Vriska calls you a big baby, you cry for just about everything. Ha you remember how all the other trolls thought you had it the easiest…

_It was far from easy._

You wheel yourself over to where your lusus is sleeping. He looked so peaceful, calm carefree everything you desired, but couldn't get. Augh is your head filled with only depressing things? You quickly check and yup everything is depressing.

You just haven't found joy or happiness in your life.

You wish you could be like your ancestor, brave, cool, good-looking, happy…oh gosh he's everything you want to be too! Is it really that easy to find happiness? If it is….then why can't you find it? You've had enough of trying to find it because you want it now…

Just please…

I want to be…

_**happy**_

That word feels strange when you think about it. As if it doesn't belong in your head, as if it has been misplaced and got lost in your depressing head and when it found its way out it would never be the same. Oh come on Tavros put yourself together…

But you're already shattered.

The pieces so small you can't see them therefore making it impossible to fix you. Your no longer wanting to be in this world you'd rather eat a cat and die from that than stay here with your depressing hive. ''Might as well go outside'' you mumble to yourself wheeling yourself towards the door.

You slowly open the door somewhat scared of going out _there._ Even though your pretty sure everyone is asleep right now but you know you just feel odd being outside after being in your hive for so long.

You look around, not much has change except for the fact that all the grass around your hive was a dark yellowish color instead of a nice bright looking green that it once was. Just like you it seems to be fading from its original image.

You let out a sigh, why couldn't you just be Karkat or Nepeta? Everyone liked them unlike you. Everyone fucking hates you and for some reason you don't try to change their minds on how they think of you, but why? Why do you let them shove you around, make fun of you, beat you, just why do you let yourself be so vulnerable…

You'll just never know now will you? You want to go back inside yet you're not sure if you want to start crying right now and you're pretty sure you're not falling asleep any time soon so staying out here for a while more it is. You just realized how lonely you really are.

You only talk to your lusus but if you're not talking to him you're crying and moping it just horrid to see yourself in front of a mirror and you fucking hate it!

What did you do to deserve this?

From what you remember you always tried to treat everyone kindly but obviously that isn't the deal here with them is it now? Ha you remember when they would all talk to you and you'd be having a great time even though you hated yourself it wasn't that bad because you had…

_Friends_

Everyone was your friend fuck even Vriska! But it seems when Vriska turned against you…slowly so did the others leaving you with Gamzee who then finally left you leaving you alone, depressed, scared, fragile. You're like glass now one slip of the hand and you've broken for good.

Well this was just as depressing as it is in your hive now wasn't it.

You turn your wheel chair around when you hear…

…

…

Footsteps?

No just you imagination playing tricks on you Tavros now calm the fuck down and open your door so you can get in and go to fucking sleep.

…

''Honk''

DID SOMEONE JUST FUCKING SAY HONK

Okay now you're more than scared you're fucking terrified you quickly try to open the door but you're shaking so much your hand keeps sliding off the door knob.

''HONK''

OH SHIT.

You only know one person that says honk and you really don't want to remember him. Maybe he was just going for a stroll! Yeah that sounds just about right! Why would he talk to you anyway? Like you said you guys don't talk anymore.

Shit you miss him.

You wish you didn't, he betrayed you yet you miss him so much. Maybe because he was your best friend or better yet your _**only friend. **_Either way you miss him and you hate yourself for missing him augh stupid mind.

You notice that the honking stopped and you let out a sigh of relief. All you got to do is stop fucking shaking and then you can open the fucking door. You put both your hands in your laps both still shaking immensely. Dammit why did you have to be scared so easily?

You wait for a couple of minutes yet it seems you can't stop shaking for some reason and you have a bad feeling that if you don't open the door already something is going to fucking happen.

Stop trembling hands.

…

Stop.

…

OH FOR FUCK SAKE.

Your hands continue trembling and you don't like that one bit. You suppress a sigh as you just sit there in your wheel chair bored as fuck and scared.

''HONK''

WHAT THE FUCK THERE'S HONKING AGAIN.

''HONK HONK''

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! 

Footsteps too?

Now your just about ready to break down your door and get the fuck insid-

''Hey Tavbro''

Oh shit it's him.

**Ending it here! 0u0 Hope you enjoyed and here is my love to all of you *throws love* you better enjoy it. I have no idea what else to say so…**

**BYE FRIENDS!**


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